


The Lost Dyad

by dyadwizards



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Force Bond (Star Wars), Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Episode: s04e13 A World Between Worlds, Reylo - Freeform, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:27:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22802536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyadwizards/pseuds/dyadwizards
Summary: 'So my question still stands, girl, why cry for him? The one who brought war to your allies, killed his share of innocent people in the process? Answer me this, what makes a man like Kylo Ren deserving of your tears?'
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hallo! 
> 
> I will be posting notes at the end of these usually, but seeing as this is the first chapter I thought it best to post up here. Just wanted to clarify a few bits- I'm an artist by trade, but I began writing this the day after I saw TRoS in a heartbroken, but very passionate, haze. I've usually just been a quiet Reylo, indulging in the amazing works by all of y'all out there, so you'll have to forgive my lack of beta (although, a big thanks to my POOR boyfriend, @thetomska, who's had a hand in helping me with this, and listening to my 2am ranting!) ALSO huge apologies if you caught my cringe 'Into The Unknown' title, the fic was posted before editing by accident... Oops.  
> The World Between Worlds is a prominent feature of the fic, but I've only seen snippets of the animated series so I took some artistic license with how it all works- but I hope you all enjoy! Thank you! ALSO if one of you could kindly help me out, I was going to post end of fic notes and links to all the lore mentioned in this, but every time I try to format it I get a 'no follow' in the link insertion. Weird! My 25 year old self is so inept with technology these days. But if you want to follow me on Twitter I have two- my main is @magicianbelle, and my Ratlo ridden social is @dyadwizards! Thank you for reading, enjoy!!!✯

✧⋆☆⋆✧

The most beautiful moments, the kind you want to hold onto for as long as possible, always seem to accelerate and slip beyond one's grasp.

“All good things must come to an end”, Poe would often say, typically after a night of heavy drinking with Finn. The duo would often have a little more firewater than they should, with the most recent session resulting in the younger of the two vomiting directly into Poe's fighter helmet.

But tonight, as Rey sat upright in bed, drenched in sweat and tears from yet another tumultuous dream, she thought about all that had transpired.

It had been 8 months since the First Order had fallen, the once endless war ceasing and unfolding into a flurry of victories for the Resistance. Many were left to pick up the pieces of their lives from before the fighting, the trouble is that the most had been left with little to nothing. The struggle to rebuild their lives didn't begin immediately, though; a fiery haze of celebration, with triumph serving as the highest form of dopamine, had kept the galaxy busy for at least a month.

The amber glow of success soon fizzled and transformed into a determination to not let things go back to how they once were. History would not repeat itself. People would not die in vain. Back to work.

However, this was harder for Rey than most. She had left Exegol in a state of shock. The funny thing about shock, though, is that it can leave you with a mind that's not quite... right. When she emerged back at camp she plastered on a smile and held onto her friends, despite the presence of an ache in her gut; inside there lay an invisible pull that weaved into her insides and tugged her towards an unknowable force.

As time marched forward, that gnawing feeling only grew. She was plagued by bizarre dreams and troubling hallucinations whenever she took the time to sit in meditative silence; flashes of blank space shrouded in velvety darkness tormented her unsettled mind. It wrenched at her heart, leaving a deep imprint of heartbreak and fear, twisting her thoughts back to him and that night. It was cruel; to have someone so solidly in one moment, and in the next, nothing but a bloodied sweater, her vision swathed by tears- it was too much to bear.

Between her pilgrimage to Ach-To, rallying against the First Order, and training with Leia, Rey hadn't found time to develop a relationship with Rose beyond friendly greetings and farewells. However, that didn't prevent Rose from being the first to notice the turmoil festering inside Rey. Her concern bore deep and the kindhearted engineer soon embarked on piecing together Rey's experiences with the force bond, her dyad, and the time she'd spent on Exegol; slowly, of course, as it pained her immensely to think of, let alone vocalise. But surely, as each evening revealed a new fragment of Rey's truth, Rose, Finn, and Poe all came to understand the gravity of what had occurred there with Palpatine, the Knights, and... with Ben.

Poe took it the worst, spluttering and rolling his eyes at her. He could only picture Kylo Ren- a monster. A steely image of a man shrouded in black and chrome, who had tortured his mind and committed countless, untold atrocities. Rey feared Poe's image of her was forever lessened, even warped. It had stung. She had tried to reach him and justify herself on countless, fruitless occasions- each more painful than the last- and in the end, they had left the topic on uncertain terms. Rose reassured her that he just needed time, something they now had plenty of, but Rey couldn't shake the feeling that their relationship would never be the same.

Still slumped over the edge of her bed, a sharp exhale stunned Rey out of her thoughts, and she gazed out at the vast, rain-kissed jungle of Devaron. She had spent many a night growing familiar with this one view. Sometimes it was cast in a pale, lilac light of the morning, brilliant verdant greens of midday or, much as the moonlit picture she was currently taking in, a swathe of obscurity; silhouettes cast on broad, arching leaves.

Sleepless nights were an affair Rey had become all too familiar with; her long and lonely sentence on Jakku had made sure of that. Between then and now was the only time she truly slept; heavily, exhausted from constant movement and fighting. But now, when she closed her weary eyes, she would dream of Kylo Ren's cold mask, the one Poe knew and feared and was overly keen to remind her of; and if not the mask, then the threat of Palpatine and Snoke, the blur of her parents or, cruelest of all, Ben.

Saving herself from more unkind thoughts, Rey stretched her arms above her head, neck craning upwards to release some stiffness from her bones, before arising. Shucking on her boots, soft and pliant from over-use, she quietly exited her room and ventured out into the night.

Once the dust of celebration had settled, the Resistance had decided to rebuild that which the First Order had destroyed within the galaxy. Many planets, species, and landmarks had been devastated and now the war was over, they found people more willing to step up and help fix the damage. Though they didn't have a name for themselves, the Resistance-that-was would work for the good of all people, to gather whatever resources they could find to help broken families, give jobs to those who had nowhere else to go, and begin educating the ones too small to help.

Poe led front and centre. The month of partying had been more than enough and restlessness had once again taken hold of his spirit. Rey deemed this as a small blessing, as his focus and fury was no longer on her but a cause less futile than attempting to invalidate her affections.

It also meant that Finn, Rey, and Rose had time to find new goals for themselves. During the festivities, Finn had revealed that he felt the force thrumming through his veins as strongly as Rey did her's. He almost seemed fearful to tell them at first, shuffling his feet, pacing, and finding it difficult to meet Rey's eyes- as if it were a dirty secret. That uncertainty was soon alleviated when Rey wrapped her arms around him and grinned earnestly, finding respite from the loneliness of being the last Jedi.

Although she harboured no mystical powers of her own, Rose wasn't going to let them journey on without her. They were a unit now. A family bound by having lost their own. Rose saw herself as the heart, whereas Finn bore the courage, and Rey the brain. She was able to mollify heated situations, and knew much about the more unfortunate reaches of the galaxy. Her desire to help those who had suffered at the hands of war and lost as she had burned too bright for her to remain a mere engineer.

Together, they made the decision to scour the galaxy to find those who were force-sensitive and ensure they didn't grow up feeling the same brand of loneliness Rey had. To give them a chance to train their powers into something new, something unlike the well-meaning but outdated Jedi teachings of old. Rey had learned that handling the force should be a delicate matter. Balanced. There would be no more dark side vs. light, there would instead be a marrying of the two; as long as Rey was alive she was determined to see that union through.

It wasn't long before they found themselves on Devaron, a planet that practically hummed with the force, where the ancient temple of Eedit lay dormant. For Rey, it was wholly overwhelming to have touched down and felt such a surge of power. So many men, women, and children unknowingly held the force within them; she hardly knew where to begin.

Devaronians weren't common outside of their home planet. Rey had only seen the occasional male during her travels since the planet, as a whole, had kept to themselves after the First Order came to be. The women of Devaron ran a matriarchal government; not to say that men were _prohibited_ from engaging in politics, so Rey was told, just that the women took to leadership and diplomacy more naturally than their horned counterparts. This sat well with Rey as the men were angry-looking, brutal with their words, and less compelled to make conversation. Something told her that if they were the ones in power, she would have to fight much harder to be accepted. Perhaps literally.

Even so, it had taken a bit of time for the Devaronians to trust the force-sensitive pair. The label of Jedi was an unenviable one on Devaron, almost shameful, as the familiar pattens of time had taught its people that when a Jedi planted roots, the darkness of the Sith would often follow. Still, Rey was certain she could get through to those who were curious about the ways of the force and decided to stay a while longer whilst Finn ventured off with Rose- combing through lesser-known planets to find others in need of teaching.

Rose was the most enthusiastic about this, having never really traveled very far from the belly of the Resistance's ships. While searching the far reaches of Devaron, Rey couldn't help but smile thinking of Rose bubbling with excitement. Her optimism was infectious as she waved a bucket list of things she wanted to see and do. It was exactly what made all the fighting worth it.

Rey's display of patience rewarded her with 13 students, varying in ages and backgrounds, all of whom surprised her nigh on daily with their eagerness and hunger to learn. But now, after a few months of hard work, guided meditation, and establishing balance, she felt her time on Devaron was nearing its end.

This effectiveness of this distraction was fading and it frightened her. That all-encompassing grief laid out bare once again. Rey felt like a dancer without a partner, lost and reaching out for a phantom hand. Her story felt unsatisfying, leaving her with the ache of not knowing, or having any way to know, what happens next. Her feet pounded against the jungle floor as she ran.

Ran from these thoughts.

Ran from herself...

and into the night.

✧⋆☆⋆✧

_Voices from an unknown reach sang out. Clandestine. Clear. A song, made only for her, beckoning her forward._

_Rey's feet were bare and treading upon an impossible nothingness. The darkness was absolute and there she was, shrouded in all of its tenebrosity. Directionless and dazed, she pursued the harmonic melody._

_It didn't feel ominous, instead, it felt serene and devoid of malice. With each step, calm flooded her very being and blossomed into something bordering on euphoric. It was familiar, soothing, and somehow nostalgic. Atop the onyx landscape, images of her life played out before her, washing over her like a gentle wave. They soaked into her eyelids as she felt them all. The first trickle of rain that dashed her brow on Ach-To. The earthy aroma of Takodana's land and sea. The tangy sweetness of a jogan fruit, fresh on her tongue as if it were once again her first time pressing its smooth skin against her lips._

_The further she pursued, the faster these experiences flitted by, negating the peace they brought her._

_The voices weren't drawing any closer either, they remained distant and it began to disorient her. As if sensing Rey's hesitation, the lack of anything solid or tangible became crushing. She couldn't brush past it, she couldn't flee or shift direction. The weight of the blackness closed in further, its pace became terrifying and, in one fell swoop, she dropped to her knees._

_Sand, so hot and coarse it burned her skin. An aching hunger. Fear. Her own, over daring to leave her home on Jakku. The blaze of a sabre, red and angry, blinding her eyes in the freezing cold snow. Starkiller Base. Breathlessness, a chokehold around her neck, her arms and legs, her head pounding at a fierce power threatening to bleed her memories dry. Snoke's throne room. Heartbreak and confusion, a shadow of someone who should've terrified her but tugged at her sore heart. The memory of misguided hope, as well as the certainty of it. Eyes, so sad and mournful, that betrayed every emotion as they bore through her- every moment with Ben. Ben. Tears. Her own. Streaming from her eyes. Lost. So very lost._

_“Show me, please. Talk to me. Make this make sense!” She pleaded with the voices. Their response was to quieten, to shimmer out. Her request thoroughly, utterly declined._

This unknown was too much to bear. Suddenly, the impossible weightlessness was pulled from beneath her and she plunged towards the cold, hard temple floor.

Blinking hard to diffuse the harshness of the reality that greeted her, she gasped and shuddered. It had happened again.

Pressing her palms into her knees, Rey took a sharp breath before letting her shoulders sag.

Her skin prickled at the thrum of energy, overwhelming her senses and exhausting her system.

Ever since Exegol, Rey found herself more and more over-sensitive to the force's touch. It made her feel sick and anxious. Something felt off, like a power converter that refused to slot into place. That invisible pull from her belly drew her towards the unknown place from which she just escaped. It was becoming stronger and harder to choke down.

Rey tried her best to reject this disruptive place when she was with her students; on the rare occasion its allure bested her, she managed to disguise it as a mere headache and relied on them being too unfamiliar with the force to pick up on the lie.

But now, as she sat in the middle of the temple- the moon-kissed walls, looming above her in the dry, night heat- she belittled herself for falling into it again. She hated the comfort brought by seeing those happier moments again as they made her guilt over what happened next even worse. She let herself shake and crumble. Silent tears clung to the corners of her eyes as an angry lump rose in her throat.

She knew this was to do with him. Somehow. It had to be. The bond they shared so violently nullified but still alive, inside of her. She couldn't help but think bitterly about it.

 _Why did you have to leave me? Why couldn't you just stay? Fought harder. You left me to suffer._ The thought was selfish. He did fight. He fought fiercely... But not like the fierce fighting she'd seen from Kylo Ren. It was a new look for him, one that Rey often caught herself thinking of during her most private moments. It was for her.

It was _truly_ all for her.

And now, it was over. He was gone and peace had finally fallen upon the galaxy. So why was she being dragged into this strange place every time she closed her eyes? The voices? The memories? Why couldn't they just leave her alone?

"Rey?" A silken voice came out from behind her, laced in concern.

Blinking away the rising tears and wiping her nose with the back of her hand, she turned to meet the eyes of her visitor.

Ta Dhek was one of the women who ran the Devoronian council, though not so much as of late. The woman was getting older, or “wiser” as she once corrected a jesting teen, but by no means less powerful. She was amongst the women who first granted Rey and Finn passage, believing in the force's strength to return balance after the war. She reminded Rey of every sage, ferocious woman she had ever met, and her dry remarks often made her think of Leia.

Now, Ta Dhek stood before her, the distance between them elevating the woman's length and stature. She exuded elegance and grace, something Rey felt she sorely lacked.

"Tell me, Rey, why is it that almost nightly I feel my heartstrings be pulled taught, and to you?" She extended her lithe hand for Rey to take, pulling her from the temple floor. Rey couldn't help but allow the woman to encase her hand in her terracotta-coloured ones, warm and gentle, "I could no longer bear it, I had to come to you. I think perhaps we should talk about what's bothering you... and how I can help."

The elder brushed her thumbs over Rey's wrist as she waited for a response. Her face was painted with worry, her pale hair pulled back from her face exposing the dark, dotted markings that adorned her petite nose and wrinkled brow; the large symmetrical circles that hung over her eyebrows- marking the place where her horns would've resided were she a male.

"I-I'm fine," Rey croaked out, no one syllable holding any truth. It made her wince at how pathetic she sounded, "I'm sorry for disturbing you."

Ta Dhek strengthened her grip on Rey's hand as she cast a look of confident disbelief, "We are in the great place of Eedit, child, even these walls know you lie to me. Speak truthfully, please, I promise it won't cross to the outside."

Responding to Rey's silence, Ta Dhek continued, "You are a strong woman, Rey, stronger than most. Lying to yourself will cost you some of that strength. You have done well here, helped the younger ones actualise their power and connection to the living force and for that, I am truly grateful. There has been a buzz around here, something I never thought we'd see again after the wars began," Ta Dhek smiled warmly at her and Rey couldn't help mirroring it with a weak imitation, "but your time here is coming to a close. And I don't think it will benefit anyone if you are encased in such distress."

Turning to inspect the barren temple, Ta Dhek lifted her head to the stars shining through a crack in the ceiling, and thoughtfully continued, "Did you know that when my people pass on, to the afterlife that the force gracefully gives them, we perform rituals? Coloured smoke and runes are laid around a great circle. Sometimes we dance within them, sometimes we sit in quiet contemplation. We bring many gifts: tokens of their life on this plane or things we wish for them to take with them as they cross over. We communicate to them our grief. Our love. Together, we all mourn and rejoice their lives."

Her dark eyes, misty with contemplation, turn to meet Rey's, "I would offer you such a ritual, for the one who was redeemed in your arms..." Rey felt as if the air had been stolen from her lungs. Her heart hammered in her chest at the sly mention of Ben and her palms began to sweat, flooding into Ta Dhek's own, "...But the thread of your bond is still there, isn't it?"

Stepping back and uncoiling their intertwined hands, Rey's lip quivered uncontrollably. She wanted to run now, Ta Dhek's acknowledgment of the very thing keeping her from sleeping, eating... functioning, it was all too much.

"At some point, sweet girl, it will become too much to bear. And I worry we won't have Rey- Rey the Last Jedi, Rey of Jakku, Rey who carries the Skywalker name- if she continues to refuse the idea that someone is waiting for her, calling to her, for very much longer."

"He's gone. I saw him fade." Rey bit out, not being able to stop the treacherous tears from falling, "He's gone... a-and I'm here."

Ta Dhek nodded, "In the physical sense? Yes. But, tell me, do you still _feel_ him?"

Wrapping her arms around herself, unable to hold onto anything else, Rey let out a broken cry, " _Yes_."

"Would you like to see him again?"

✧⋆☆⋆✧


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her head throbbed, the tears from before catching up with her, as she tried to understand the meaning. She caught her lip between her teeth as she twirled to face the humongous beast again, her voice wavering, "Join him- how?"
> 
> The beast remained stoic, its eyes ceasing to blink or turn away from her, 'If you accept, you could become who you were meant to become- in another life, another time. It's in your blood, that light of yours is deceiving, dark as the man you claim to love.'

✧⋆☆⋆✧

The Devaronian sun shone brightly, illuminating the planet's lush green glory; many hours had passed since Ta Dhek found Rey entranced on the temple floor and now she sat, huddled, in the elder general's quarters. Ta Dhek's domicile more closely resembled a hut than a home, truly meant to hold only one person; with her husband long since passed and no children to care for, the wise old woman had opted for a more humble and manageable life.

Since the early hours of the morning, Ta Dhek had spent most of their time together detailing a mythical place named Mortis, something Rey had only briefly encountered in the ancient Jedi texts. The books she had stolen from Ahch-To were dense and frustratingly hard to decipher; the archaic language had halted Rey from absorbing all they had to offer but now she wished she had tried even harder to understand them.

Ta Dhek had spoken of The World Between Worlds, tales muttered throughout the galaxy of a place where one could cross the streams of time, and the three ancient, God-like force-wielders who inhabited the realm. The Father, who represented balance in the force; the Daughter who stood for hope and light; and the Son who embodied the dark side of the Sith. They were beings who, like Mortis itself, could not be found, but who instead found you.

It sounded impossible and yet, Rey mused, it seemed entirely plausible that such a place could exist. After all, she once believed Luke Skywalker himself to be a myth, and he turned out to not only be real but wholly beatable in a scuffle, so why should this be any different?

"How do I find Mortis?" Rey enquired, as if she planned to run to her ship and punch in the coordinates that very moment.

"This place is not one you happen across by sailing the galaxy, child," Ta Dhek scoffed, waving a hand at her nonchalantly, "but I do wonder if it's what's been calling to you. The World Between Worlds is supposedly a conduit to the force and, being so strong in it yourself, I suppose it could be possible..."

Rey didn't know what to say. Wherever it was she had been, she felt deeply unsure of its intentions. Just a few hours ago her pleas for answers were met with silence; that had hardly felt like contact.

Ta Dhek had passed on all the information she had, and Rey felt her welcome was coming to an end. The hours had run away from them, and a lack of food or sleep had left the two weary. "I'm not sure what to do next." Rey murmured as she was bid farewell with a gentle embrace.

Ta Dhek ran a comforting hand down Rey's back, smoothing over the fabric of her dull grey tunic, however her words bore a more chilling tone. "This place that calls to you... whilst I'm certain it's to do with your lost love, it is also surely dangerous. Promise me you will not go about this alone. The road you take could be long and lonely and you have had quite enough of that already, my dear.”

If she'd had the energy to cry, Rey felt she could have broken down once more. Instead, she sniffled and nodded, letting out a tepid smile. "Thank you, Ta Dhek."

✧⋆☆⋆✧

After her conversation with Ta Dhek, Rey had sent out a hasty message to both Rose and Finn asking them to contact her as soon as they could. She knew it would take a while to reach them, as they were possibly multiple parsecs away, so she spent that time strengthening her resolve to talk to them about Mortis, The World Between Worlds, and, most importantly, what she felt was waiting for her there.

The downtime was torturous. Rey couldn't meditate, dream, or take a moment to breathe without the tug from within pulling her to that otherworldly place. If it was indeed the beings Ta Dhek had spoken of, they weren't speaking with her directly, no matter how much she tried- and Rey was growing impatient. She heard whispers of a familiar voice, deep, hushed, and silken; and knowing she was unable to trace its origins was frightening her.

That fear had pushed Rey to barter her non-essentials for an old holopad that blabbered near-inaudible radio shows, to help drown out the murmurings. Any sane onlooker would say Rey had gone mad- that her struggles during the war had caught up with her- but Rey knew better; she knew these visions held a weight far heavier than an injured mind. Explaining away these voices with madness was a luxury Rey would've almost preferred.

Finally, after three maddening days of waiting, the Comlink tucked into Rey's belt beeped at her, loudly and urgently. Sprinting to her room, she clambered into the small greel-wood chair by the window, and could hardly get the device open and online fast enough.

"Rey!" An excited female voice rang out as soon as the connection was accepted, "I'm so sorry we didn't call sooner! There was a mishap with Finn and this really angry Twi'Lek woman and our ship got stolen! Well, technically it was “sold”, but we have it back now! Most of it, anyway. It's a good job we didn't take the Falcon or-"

"Rose, chill! Hey Peanut, sorry we've, uh, had quite the week." Deep and unmistakable, the sound of Finn's voice pulled at Rey's heart, both voices gracing her with relief and a familiar comfort.

That brief glimmer of happiness made starting this conversation feel even more daunting. Nerves coiled in her gut. She was going to bring down the high, tell them something that could potentially throw everything into disarray, but she'd made a promise to Ta Dhek. Besides, the idea of spending another week, let alone a lifetime with this overwrought discomfort residing inside her was an unbearable notion and motivation enough to scrounge up a few moments of courage.

"Hi guys. It's wonderful to hear from you both." She wished her words didn't sound so forced. It really was wonderful to finally hear a familiar voice. She missed them, _R'iia_ how she wanted them here with her- to see their smiles, feel their embrace... Anything more than talking to a tiny, out-dated piece of tech.

A small breath of silence came before Rose's voice chimed in, soft and perceptive. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing! No. I, uh, well... Okay, so, maybe there is." She heaved a heavy sigh and slid her hands down her face, "You see, my time on Devaron is coming to an end now. They've taken all I can teach them. Finn, you would love to see how far Cagho has come! He asks about you every day. It's adorable." Rey pinched at her arm to steel herself and steer the conversation back, "Uh, it's just... Well, there's something I feel like I need to do before traveling onwards to teach others. It's..."

_“Kriff,” she thought._

Taking a deep breath to steady her screeching nerves, Rey began again, "There's a place, tied to the force, that's been calling to me. Maybe it's inside of me or maybe it's somewhere... else. It's like we're connected. Ta Dhek, she thinks, uh, she... I think... I think it might be to do with... with..."

"Ben." Rose interjected, sparing Rey the pain or saying it herself.

A deafening silence filled the air. It could've lasted seconds, or minutes, but the muteness that came was enough to throw Rey into a panic. Her ears rang, her heart pounded, and a cold sweat began to arise on her flesh.

These weren't the words she'd practiced. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. She'd had days to think of ways to tell them and had somehow made a mess of it. Was their silence a sign of their disapproval? Would they placate her but secretly deem her mad? If in their position, Rey knew she would. She'd hoped that letting them know how she felt would grant her a well-earned sense of relief, but now, with her legs crossed and hands clenched, she only felt more tumultuous. These were her family, blood or not, the only people she had left in the entire galaxy. Her thoughts began to fill the dreadful silence. _I'm letting them down. It's over and I'm letting them down, they have been so patient with me and I'm dragging it all up again, I'm letting them-_

"Okay, Rey. We've got you. Rose is charting a course for Devaron now. It's going to be alright."

✧⋆☆⋆✧

_Gasping awake, Rey found herself adrift in the inky pool of nothingness once more. This time however, when she opened her eyes, Rey saw something that broke the familiarity of her surroundings- a lone path, highlighted by a thin, white barrier guiding it forwards, stretching far away and beckoning her to follow._

_The distant, serenading voices that she once found soothing, were now eerie, insistent, and made her shiver with unease. Brushing off the anxiety, Rey rose onto her feet and set upon the route that presented no end, freshly determined to see this through with each footstep rippling out across an unseeable surface._

_Rey had been desperately reaching out to this place for a week now. Every waking moment had been spent meditating and every time, without fail, her efforts had been rewarded with nothing. Not even that incessant tug from deep in her gut had presented itself since the conversation with Rose and Finn._

_The knowledge that her friends were currently traversing the galaxy to be by her side twisted her fear into something new, a resolve to find answers before they arrived; before she'd have to prove her sanity or risk losing them too. She needed it to make some sense._

_Rey theorised that the force didn't take kindly to being grasped onto and pulled at. It gave and it took but it very rarely leaned itself to being grappled with- not from her anyway. So being here, now, after a week of dreamless sleeps... She knew something was coming._

_Despite her eager determination, Rey's perception of time was completely blurred here, and the lack of anything other than the thin bright line of the path was starting to eat at her vision. Closing her eyes made no difference, for the view was the same, and it made her skin prickle with frustration._

_She strove to reign in some of the energy around her, feeling for anything other than the stagnated path. Rey steadied her breathing, clenched her fists, and began to reach beyond herself, but there was nothing- truly, thoroughly naught. The feeling was somewhat recognizable, though. A familiar kind of nonentity. It reminded her of trying to bridge Luke's mind on Ahch-To, only to find a blockade. Someone, or something, was denying her entry._

_"Why bring me here?" Rey grumbled to the voices, to the path, to the transcendent puddles at her feet, "Are you going to show me something? Say something?"_

_Louder, she asked, "Please?"_

_The voices remained, ever the same, unwavering and homogenous._

_Rey frowned, her fingernails dug half-moons into her palms from frustration. This place was making her feel dizzy and she didn't know how much longer she could keep walking down a winding path to no end; the lack of visual stimulation was nauseating._

_"Please. I just need something, anything you can give me. I want to understand. I can hear you, I didn't want to before but you... scared me.” Rey's shoulders sagged, “But I'm here now and willing to talk, please..."_

_With every lack of reply, her agitation grew and she began to babble outright, "If this is... You... Please. I have spent what feels like lifetimes and only seconds without you. I can't be toyed with much longer, it's too painful,"_

_"and I didn't know it could hurt even more than it already has, does... is. This pain. This grief. It's being ripped from me, like you were..."_

_Rey's voice grew shrill as her feet stomped down the black path, her chest heaving and her insides aching, she continued on and on, "I have been grieving since that night, I thought if I could just push it down I'd grow hardened and just make do! But I_ _**can't** _ _! It's not working. I see you in everything I do. I think about your life, how snubbed you were of love and how you had been backed into survival. The choices you made, and why. Monstrous. Terrifying. So... So..._ _**Sad** _ _. But when you brought me back it felt right, we felt so_ _**right** _ _! I had_ _**you** _ _, Ben, and you had me. Finally, something full and real and raw and you... y-you..."_

_Salty tears ran down Rey's face, along the slope of her jaw, to her neck and pooled there, dampening her tunic. She began to heave heavy, guttural sobs and struggled to hold herself upright. She closed her wet, burning eyes and tripped accordingly, her sharp knees meeting the floor with a crack. Heartbroken cries filled the void, drowning out the insipid, unseen chorus. Gripping at the floor, Rey bowed her head. She wanted nothing but to disappear at that moment, grief-stricken and distraught, "Please."_

_Through her sharp hiccuping and mewls she failed to notice that the singing had shifted to a muted hum. Nor did Rey realize that she was no longer alone on this path, the despair obscuring anything and everything that surrounded her._

_That was until a solid, soft object brushed against the crown of Rey's head, plastering stray chestnut strands to her damp cheeks in the process, breaking Rey out of the rumination she had given into._

_Rey snapped her eyes upward, the cries freezing in her throat, as she met with something that should've made her scream out in fear._

_A beast, with a glossy coat of fur as dark as the world around them, looked down at Rey with slitted red eyes, sinister and ablaze. It had a protruding snout and wide, straight ears nestled upon the top of its head. Its paws, each as big as Rey's head, stood firm as its long and bushy tail weaved slowly. This thing was unlike any creature she had seen on her travels- it was old, mythic, and deeply imposing._

_Rey found herself unable to discern the beast's expression. Was this the predatory glare of a starved monster or the curious contemplation of a stray animal? Not that it mattered, of course; this was the most real thing Rey had encountered here and she wasn't about to cower from it._

_It cocked its angular head down at her, eyes glinting, and exhaled a soft rumbling growl. Then, without moving its jaws, it spoke,_ _**“Hush, girl. Your incessant crying is sickening, but it does make me wonder as to why you would weep for one you describe as monstrous and terrifying? Would it not be best... to let the past die?”** _

_Rey's eyes widened at the familiarity of those words. They pulled her back to his deep, pleading voice, to when he had stood opposite her in the burning throne room, the heat drenching them in sweat- mingling with their distraught tears. '_ _ Kill it, if you must _ _.' He had said, to convince Rey- as well as himself, she later thought- that his way was the only one. Rey had her heart torn open that night, as she watched the promise of Ben fall back behind the disguise of Kylo Ren._

_How far he had eventually come when Rey held him for the first and the last time, months later._

_"No. He shouldn't have... It was unfair," Rey croaked, "his death. It wasn't..."_

_“ **Death is often unfair,”**_ _the voice lamented,_ _**“life, even more so.”** _

_“ **So my question still stands, girl, why cry for him? The one who brought war to your allies, killed his share of innocent people in the process? Answer me this, what makes a man like Kylo Ren deserving of your tears?”**_

_Rey felt something within her snap. Her chin jutted upwards toward the creature, bearing teeth in a display menacing enough to match the beast's own, and she stood to face it head-on, "He died Ben Solo, son of Leia Organa and Han Solo. He saved the galaxy alongside me. He had a heart, he had a life ahead of him! He lay in my arms, redeemed. He became the man he was meant to be. A decent man. He saved my life!"_

_The creature chuckled darkly, despite its face baring no distinct emotion,_ _**“I see.”** _

_“ **This Ben Solo gave his life in return for yours. Isn't that enough, youngling? Would he not want you to move on, to live the life granted to you?”**_

_"Why are you asking me these things when you're the one who keeps dragging me here?!" Rey seethed, loathing the tone of its mocking voice._

_“ **I'm simply trying to discern whether or not you are worthy.”**_ _The beast stretched its legs,_ _in a what appeared to be a display of boredom,_ _**“I suppose you are... Or at least, desperate enough.”** _ _It took a sharp sniff,_ _**“You reek of it.”** _

_Scowling, Rey rested her hands on her hips, "Worthy? Worthy of what, exactly? Why am I here?"_

_The creature circled Rey, sizing her up, and she could swear she saw it roll its eyes in the process._

_“ **So many questions. Let it be my turn to ask one of you. If I gave you a way to see him again, would you take it? Think hard.”**_

_Rey's head throbbed, the tears from before catching up with her, as she tried to understand it's meaning. She caught her lip between her teeth as she twirled to face the humongous beast again, her voice wavering, "I don't understand. He's dead! How could I possibly be able to see him?"_

_The beast remained stoic, refusing to blink or turn away from Rey,_ _**“If you accept, you could become who you were meant to be- in another life, another time. It's in your blood. That light of yours is deceiving, dark as the man you claim to love.”** _

_Silence rang out for a few, long seconds, and within them, Rey felt her blood run cold. The answer she'd pleaded so long for had only lead her to more questions and she couldn't shift the notion that this beast, this wisened creature before her... was hiding something. To say she wasn't immediately tempted would be a lie; to be able to be with him, to hold him, to tell him everything she had felt since the night he faded... But no. This wasn't right. It was a trick. Just like everything she'd fought against, time and time again. Against Kylo Ren, against Snoke... against Palpatine._

_Squeezing her eyes shut, Rey pleaded with herself to just..._ _think_ _. She was in a place that should be drenched in the force, ebbing and flowing through her veins like before... So why wasn't it now? In her previous visits she'd felt hazy and unsure, but in this moment she was certain_ \- _she_ _had_ _once felt him here._

_"Why?" Rey finally asked, inhaling a shuddered breath, “What do you get out of this?"_

_In a moment so brief it was near impossible to catch, the expression on her host's face shifted to a grim sneer. Its eyes a bright crimson blaze, the looming creature leered at her and snarled. She stumbled backward at the sight, once more finding herself breathless, as a spark ignited within her- she had found her answer. Ta Dhek's words rang out in her head like the ring of a bell. The Father, who represented balance, The Daughter, who held light and hope in her wake, and The Son._

_He who represented the dark, the Sith, and all things dire... Was standing before her._

_"No," she spat, "I know what you are. You're a liar and you won't bend my will to your own!" Terrified as she was, she stood her ground, the clarity of The Son's hollow offer giving her a renewed sense of fight. He was trying to lure her, turn her to his side, make her his pawn... “No. Not today, not ever,” she thought to herself._

_The Son's form bellowed a furious roar, sinking low as if readying to pounce, before widening its jaws and cracking its ruinous teeth together. He hated her reluctance._

_At that terrifying moment, the ground beneath Rey shook and the space around them shifted. Paths, like the one Rey was currently struggling to maintain her balance on, spewed out and wound away in every direction. Bright white circles met some of these at their end, adorned with indecipherable symbols; Rey desperately hoped they led to a way out._

_The hymnal voices re-emerged, louder than ever before, and Rey's nerves sang along with them. The pulling sensation in her gut was back and she lurched forward, just as The Son pounced at where she had stood. Seeing no other exit, Rey ran further up the path and began desperately seeking out the source of the familiar signal. The force purred, engulfing her with the hope that she could escape before this vicious god could do her harm._

_However, he was rapidly closing the distance between them, lacking the disadvantage of running blindly, so_ _Rey did the only thing that felt logical in that moment- She jumped._

_Plummeting off of the edge of the platform, Rey's stomach lurched as she briefly soared downwards. Another path quickly, and fortunately, rose to meet her and, fortuitously again, this one held a door at its end._

_The Son howled in the distance but Rey didn't chance a look at his whereabouts. She scrambled to push herself up and towards the great, white circle, dotted with constellations of tiny creatures not unlike the one gearing up to hurt her._

_The entryway lay on the only path available, giving Rey no other option but to go in- but, strangely, she didn't fear it. The pull that guided her didn't feel ominous, and it certainly wasn't out to kill her like The Son was. This is where the tug had been leading her, it had to be, so she pushed forward._

_Reaching the doorway, Rey took a deep breath; she counted to three, exhaled calmly, and sank into the light._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✧ Thank you to everyone who left such lovely comments, given me their kudos and/or bookmarked since posting the first chapter, and once again an even bigger thank you to my lovely boyfriend who spent 3 days combing through this! I think he's accepted that he's going to be my fic editor for a long while...
> 
> These updates will be weekly, I've already written up to chapter 6 and I feel NOWHERE near done so I'm predicting this will be about 15-20 chapters long? I love that slow-burn. Hope you all enjoyed! ✧


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As far as Rey knew, visions... or ghosts, didn't need to breathe.

✧⋆☆⋆✧

Rey was adrift, bathed in a pool of light; a fluorescent stream showered all of her senses and cast away the dark. She felt buoyant, somewhat tranquil, and had lost all track of time until a soft pressure weighed itself on her body, bringing her down from the lull.

In place of the bleached, white rays kissing her face, came a flood of crimson that bled through her eyelids. In her peaceful state, Rey hadn't even noticed that her eyes were closed, but the contrast in lighting roused her back to her senses.

Only, she immediately wished it hadn't.

Rey found herself gazing up at a red, hexagonal fixture spreading across the entire surface of a ceiling. The shape bore a dreadful familiarity that rushed back as she jolted upwards, only to find her wrists met with twin cuffs biting into her skin. Rey began to panic.

“Good, you're awake.” _No, that voice, it can't be..._

Whipping her head toward the sound, she came face to face with the expressionless gaze of Kylo Ren. Helmet firmly planted atop heavy, woollen shoulders, regarding her with a cold grimace only metal could convey. He was crouched before her, rigid, sizing her up.

Crippled by the overwhelming and impossible sense of deja-vu, all Rey could do was gape at him. Blinking rapidly, brows drawing tight in confusion, as she tried to piece together what had just happened- if it had even happened- and where she was now. None of it was lining up.

One moment, she was diving through a portal in an attempt to escape certain death, in the next cascaded with pure, peaceful light, and now... Rey could only believe that this was yet another force vision. Only, un-like the ones that came before, this felt solid and tangible. The restraints that held her down physically _hurt,_ and her hands were numbing from the lack of use. Rey could smell the stale remnants of blood and the pungent disinfectant that had been used to wash the pristine floor below her feet. The walls hummed with the incessant buzz of technology and, above it all, she could hear _him;_ the vocoder stationed in that lecherous helmet of his crackling with his even-tempered breathing.

As far as Rey knew, visions... or ghosts, didn't need to breathe.

Tearing her eyes away from him, Rey forced herself to close them. She felt small, powerless, and infantile. Recalling those sorrowful nights as a child when, after a particularly awful dream, she would have to will herself back to sleep. Alone, clammy from the unforgiving desert, and filled with fear, she would take deep gulping breaths and think of an ocean... the very same one this Kylo Ren tore from her mind all that time ago. But now, she thought of her bed back in Devaron, threadbare but comfortable, and her friends who were on their way to meet her there. If she could only focus on them, maybe she would be pulled back to reality. Maybe this would all be over, and she could block out the World Between Worlds with the help of her companions, drown out the grief, and try to cut off the tie that led her, always, to him...

The pull.

She could feel it, as tangibly as her surroundings, and it was pointing directly at... him. This was new. Whenever she had felt it before, it had always felt so distant, but now...

Snapping her eyes open, Rey felt a renewed sense of clarity. “Take it off.” She demanded, her tongue thick in her mouth.

He didn't move.

Rey clenched her fists in frustration, and bit out, “Take. Off. The mask.”

The version of Kylo kneeling before her tilted his head, contemplating Rey's words, clearly taken aback by her audacious demeanour. The pair glowered at each other in silence. It all felt too similar.

Abruptly, he arose and unhinged the helmet, pulling it up and away from his broad shoulders. Rey held her breath, preparing to meet his eye, but nothing could have readied her for the sight of him.

He stood tall as he slammed the helmet down forcefully. _How heavy was that thing?_ His hair looked longer than Rey remembered, swept back by the confines of his mask, and her fingers twitched at the sight. Oh, how frustrated she was in that moment to be restrained. Rey steeled herself and focussed on drinking him in, mapping every mole that peppered his pale skin. Her lips quivered, wanting nothing else but to kiss each one and memorise the feeling for eternity.

Deep, brown eyes searched her own, quietly confessing the rage and sadness held behind them. _Was he wearing makeup when I first met him?_ She thought to herself, amused at the brief image of him stood in-front of a mirror, adorning his waterline with kohl. This was all too bizarre.

It became even more so as he closed in on Rey, reducing the space between them to only a few feet. He peered down at her cautiously as he softly commanded, “Tell me about the droid.”

A bark of laughter rang out and reverberated off of the colourless walls. Her own volume startling her. Rey couldn't believe what she was hearing, “No. You have got to be _kriffing_ joking me!”

Kylo blanched at this, un-prepared to be laughed at; inexperienced at the phenomenon even. His eyebrows drew as high as they would allow before he cleared his throat to mask the surprise, “It's carrying a section of a navigational chart, and we have the rest- recovered for the archives of the Empire, but we need the-”

“Stop!” She barked, completely dumbfounded at the scene playing out before her, hastening to put an end to his speech- one she had heard before.

“I... Excuse me?” He asked, his face now a vision of fury, “You, a lowly scavenger, dare tell me what to do? Is this how you got my map from the droid? By _demanding_?”

Rey could hardly believe she was having this conversation. This was Kylo Ren, seemingly devoid of any memory of her, once again inquiring about BB-8's map to Ahch-To. She couldn't bear it. This was wrong. This shouldn't be happening, again, not after everything...

“Do you not recognise me, Ben?” Rey asked faintly, her wistful eyes pleading with him, trying to reach the man she _knew_ was in there.

No amount of deceptive coughing could help him now, her question throwing him completely off balance. He stepped back as if she had burnt him with a flame. Fear flickered through brown depths, mixed with sorrow, quickly passing into pure, unbridled anger.

“I see the Resistance has been given some new tactics by my mother,” he seethed, practically gagging with animosity over his acknowledgment of Leia, “no matter. I will just have to _take_ what I want.”

His thick-gloved hand rose to her temple and the room whirred with the surge of force energy trying to pry open her mind. It succeeded, if only for a brief moment, before Rey instinctually swung back with her own power, denying entry to her thoughts. Her efforts, while far less difficult this time around, completely drained her. The stress of this night was truly catching up with her.

“It's me... Rey...” She gasped out, tears singeing the corners of her weary eyes, “Ben. Please.”

A deep growl tore itself from his throat, chest heaving with umbrage, as he advanced to try again. Kylo was so close now, the heat of his impassioned breath warming the skin on her face, their noses almost connecting. In an oddly gentle gesture, he placed a hand on the side of her head, denying her the freedom to look away. Rey's tears were set free from the motion, rolling down flushed cheeks in thick streams, wetting the leather of his glove.

“Don't be afraid. I feel it too.” A line, spoken so much like before, now took greater meaning. In that moment, she knew she had to let him in, let him see...

It didn't hurt, not when she was guiding him in, as she stealthily organised her memories to put on display. The invisible pull sang at the connection, magnetising them, and she cried out at how right it felt. He gazed into her world, the one where they grew from enemies into something akin to star-crossed lovers. She permitted him to see her archived feelings for him; fear merging into hope, indignation flitting into contentment, and hate- the strongest of them all- blossoming into love.

She presented to him their future, a moment that would take place only days from now, where they fought on Starkiller base. The ferocious, red heat of his corrupted saber clashing with hers, the slice across his beautiful face that would mark him as hers for years to come... and then, the moment she wiped that scar from existence and confessed how badly she wanted to take his hand. Ben's hand.

Openly weeping, she forced him out before it completely overwhelmed her, and closed the bridge between their minds. If this truly was time repeating itself, she didn't think she could take it; living through it all again, knowing exactly how it would end... She'd prefer to die right there.

In stunned silence, their faces remained achingly close as a lock of his hair softly fell and draped against her brow. Rey couldn't bare to look into his startled eyes and, instead, focused on the thick cowl that rested upon his broad shoulders. From where he leant over her, it had fallen forward, exposing his torso and heaving chest. She soaked in the sight, basking in his oh-so-human body heat, dragging her eyes lower and lower until something inexplicable caught her gaze.

A small hole in his tunic, easy to miss were it not for the stark circle of pale skin peeking through and drawing her eye.

“W-what... happened?” She whispered to him, her sight still fixated on the spot below his ribs. Further perplexed, Kylo followed the trail of her eyes, trying to understand the question.

He took a lumbering step back, ending the sweet caress of his hand; Rey's heart stung at the loss of it.

Trembling, Kylo tore the woven material from his neck and over his head, tossing it to the floor, and peered down at the fabric underneath in awe.

The spot where she had impaled him, healed him... It was burned into the cloth. He snapped his head up, face drawn and pale, instantly shattering the sullen guise of Kylo Ren. No longer was she looking at the deeply misguided young man who held an incomprehensible darkness inside him; the discordant hatred fell away from his features as someone wiser and softer emerged from within.

Rey hadn't noticed it before but upon his brow rested a small scar from the battle at Exegol, deep and mottled, having never properly healed since his fading. Soft, raven locks fell lankly over his shoulders as all pretences of Kylo Ren were stripped away to reveal her very own Ben.

“Rey?” He sounded broken.

She let out a sob, desperate to reach out for him, “Yes, yes, it's me.”

“You're really here?” Ben croaked out, wrapping his arms around himself, looking far too terror-stricken for Rey's liking.

The restraints cut off her circulation as she tried to will her body closer, reaching for him despite her limitations, “Yes. I'm really here. I'm here, Ben.”

The obvious signs of hyperventilation were kicking in as Ben drew down onto his knees and pressed his forehead against them. “ _No._ She can't. I learned the speech, I did exactly what you _wanted_ me to do! _Please_ , I didn't mean to deviate. I'm sorry!” He was rocking himself now and Rey could do nothing but watch in horror.

“Ben? Ben, what are you talking about? It's me, love, it's me. I'm here. Come closer. Feel me. I'm real. This is real!”

“No! Stop. No. _R'iia_ , I don't know what you're doing but I did everything right. I'm playing your _game_ , please...”

Reaching her limit with this madness, Rey desperately clawed at her confines. She begged the force to take mercy and release her. She bit the inside of her cheek in concentration, drawing metallic tasting blood, but she soon felt the cuffs vibrate under her influence and loosen. Finally, they burst open and Rey fell hard onto the tile floor.

Crawling toward him on sore knees and bruised wrists, she dubiously reached out, until she met with the smooth fabric covering Ben arms and gripped them tight.

“It's okay, it's okay,” Rey reassured, “I'm not going to hurt you. I'm here. I'm really here.”

Wild, frightful eyes snapped up at her as she kept crooning, “Ben... My Ben. I've found you.”

Pulling herself closer and taking him into her arms, Rey shushed and muttered soothing words into his hair, dampening the locks with her own silent tears.

“Rey...” Oh, how small he sounded, “You can't... Be here.” Ben clutched onto her, almost painfully tight, as if fearful that she could slip away at any moment. “They won't like it. You need... You need to _go_.”

“What are you talking about? Ben, I can't leave you. I am _never_ leaving you, _ever_ , again!” Her voice was incredulous, rising in pitch, as she tried to look at him; _really_ look at him... He was so utterly terrified. “How did you get here? Who is 'they'?! The Son? Is that who you mean?”

At the mention of that ancient name, Ben yelped out and buried his face deep into her shoulder. “Yes. You need to go. _You need to go_.”

Drawing a blank on how to calm him down, Rey tried again, “You're coming with me. We'll find a way, okay? I _will_ go but you're going with me. We are _both_ getting out of here.”

Rey noticed that Ben had stopped heaving and she concluded that her assurances had finally taken hold. However, Ben gulped down a deep breath and drew himself up, his whole demeanour shifting as he rose. He held onto her arms, hands still quaking, as his face consumed her own. Delicately, he pressed his lips to her forehead and whispered softly, “No, Rey, we're not.”

Before she could even process his words, Ben disappeared into the very pool of light that brought her to him, the fluorescent light now burning and angry and it tore a scream from her.

Tumbling down, down, down... She fell directly onto her threadbare bed, sweat soaked and harrowed. She woke up, back in Devaron. Ben nowhere in sight.

✧⋆☆⋆✧

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the two week wait! My ever-so patient boyfriend proof-reads and edits these for me and jobs and lives and all of that fun stuff likes to get in the way.
> 
> I've actually finished writing up to the half-way point in this fic, and it's looking like 12 chapters in total. This has been so fun and cathartic. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reading and all of your responses!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I still don't understand,” Rey confessed, “Why would Ben have unfinished business?” 
> 
> “You, dummy. You're the un-finished business.” 
> 
> “Oh.” Rey squirmed at the realisation, embarrassed.

✧⋆☆⋆✧

A cycle of day and night slipped by, indicated only by the rise and fall of heat and diffused sunlight, while Rey lay still in her bed. Amid those hours the room had become musky with the scent of her sweat as she drifted into intermittent, dreamless sleeps.

During the rare moments she found herself awake and lucid, Rey would curl herself into a ball and stare blankly at the wall beside her, mapping each crack she found there. Despite only a day having passed, she looked gaunt, lips chapped from dehydration, her face drawn and pale.

It was in that same position Rose and Finn eventually found her, stoically counting the same cracks.

Strong arms encircled Rey, gently hooking themselves underneath her limp arms to pull her upright, jolting her out of her stupor. She finally wept, having lacked the strength to cry when she first returned, hoarsely wailing into Finn's arms for what felt like hours. She tried to describe, through hiccup-ridden, gasped sentences, what had occurred the night before.

Rose stood at Rey's side, hand at her mouth to mask her concern, dumbstruck at the display of raw emotion. This was not the Rey she had come to know, one typically so reserved and stubborn with her feelings, having chosen carefully what to show to her friends in the past; seeing Rey so utterly broken frightened both Finn and Rose immensely.

Finn held onto Rey, stroking soothing circles into her skin, until the young Jedi exhausted herself back to sleep. With Rey finally pacified, Rose broke the silence with a hushed whisper, “I've never seen her like that before.”

Finn left Rey's side, carefully, as not to jostle his sleeping friend. “I'm going to contact Poe,” he muttered; his face racked with concern.

Rose frowned, crossing her arms in glaring disapproval, “She won't like that, Finn. They still need time.”

“They've had enough time, Rose. He needs to know. He cares about her just as much as we do.”

Rose shook her head with sorrow as she cast her eyes down towards Rey, dejected. She knew not only that arguing with Finn was impossible once his mind was set, but that deep down she agreed with him.

Finn shook his head in an attempt to clear it. “But first, we need to get her some fresh clothes and food.”

Rose mutely agreed, padding around the room and sifting through Rey's belongings as she draped layers of fabric over her arm.

“We should start moving things onto the Falcon, too.” He continued, plucking items off of the floor at random- her quarterstaff, a pair of tattered boots, a dog-eared book on local botanicals- but hesitated in the doorway as Rose spoke. “She's going to be okay, right? We can figure this out?”

Finn turned to face Rose as she tore her eyes away from their sleeping friend, and hardened her expression. “We have to,” she declared.

✧⋆☆⋆✧

Finally awakening from her deep and well-needed slumber, Rey found that she was no longer in her quarters on Devaron. The room was pitch black but the soothing, unmistakeable hum of a sublight engine told her exactly where she was; the main bedroom of the Millennium Falcon.

Swinging her legs over the edge of the plush mattress and propping herself up, Rey flicked on the main light. It took a moment for her eyes to adapt to the harsh, artificial glare but she soon spotted a tumbler of fresh water on the end-table, ice-cubes bobbing freely and frosting the glass. A lone, tantalising bead of condensation brought on the realisation of how shockingly parched Rey was and she gulped it all down without a second thought.

The rush of water prompted her abdomen to grumble deeply, grateful for the hydration. As her stomach pleaded for more, she tried to recall the last time she had eaten anything.

A soft knock drew Rey's attention and Rose entered without a word, shyly setting down a folded bundle of clean clothing.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, peanut,” Rose offered a gentle, warm smile, “How are you feeling? I'm sorry we moved you, that must've been a pretty strange way to wake up, huh?”

Rey reached out, her hand seeking Rose's, and returned an apologetic smile, “I'm okay, I'm sorry if I scared you both.” She looked around, considering her surroundings, “It was pretty nice, actually, waking up in here. It's been a while.”

Rose took Rey's hand into her own, her smile widening at the sound of her friend's livelier tone, and made a noise of empathy, “Yeah, I think she missed you too. This old gal was collecting dust when we first arrived.”

They enjoyed a moment of silence, quietly celebrating their reunion, until Rey's stomach again began to groan loudly, startling them both and eliciting breaths of laughter.

“Finn's making breakfast in the kitchen, he thought you might be ravenous by now.” Rose tipped her head towards the freshly-washed cargo she'd delivered, “You're free to join us if you're ready, but it might be nice to have a shower and change your clothes first.”

Rey winced at this, deciphering the tactful implication that she wasn't at her best, and recalling the state they'd found- and presumably carried- her in. She looked down at her feet shamefully, “How long... have I been out?”

“It's only been a day since we found you,” Rose confirmed, “I don't suppose you remember waking up and guzzling the canteen yesterday? I replaced it three times last night, but you never really seemed fully conscious.”

Suddenly, Rey felt over-wrought with emotion. A potent cocktail of shame, fear, confusion, and dread as the memory of the World Between Worlds began to creep up again. “I'm so sorry,” Rey whispered, “I don't know what's happening to me.”

At this, Rose sank to her knees and drew Rey's chin up to face her, “You have nothing to be sorry about, do you hear me? _Nothing_. We are going to get through this, Rey, I promise.” The Haysian smelt around Rose's neck glinted in the muted glow-light, “But first, let's take some small steps, okay? Wash, eat, and then we'll get to the tougher stuff.”

Rey nodded mutely, her eyes fixated on the jewellery, “Okay.”

Rose angled herself to intercept Rey's vacant gaze to make sure she'd truly gotten through, “Okay, let's go.”

✧⋆☆⋆✧

The scalding water revitalised Rey, flushing her skin a pink hue and boiling away the aches that'd come from being stagnated for so long. It was a welcome reprieve and she soon felt her strength creep back as she indulged in the luxury of a hot shower- something she'd sorely missed on Devaron.

As her body steadily rejuvenated, Rey allowed her mind to wander. The surge of water peppering her skin brought her back to Ben's kiss, their second one, and how chaste and sad it had felt as it pressed gently at her temple. In her fantasies, long before his supposed demise and even afterwards, she often dreamt of the kisses they would never have; Rey never expected the ones they did eventually share to be so sorrowful, and she made a small promise to herself that if she could get him back she would vouch to never have that emotion associated with their touches. Rey silently prayed that it wouldn't yet again be another fantasy to hope such a thing.

Eventually the water finally ran cold, forcing Rey- begrudgingly- out of her lavish, steamy cocoon, and into a set of fresh, clean clothes. To her surprise, she found Rose stood waiting outside of the stall. Her concern was palpable, but sweet. If it were any other time, Rey would've fretted about being so carefully observed, especially when bare and vulnerable, but this felt devoid of judgement; more in lieu of a sisterly bond- something Rey had never known, but imagined to be just like this.

With her tiny hand guiding the small of Rey's back, Rose led her to the kitchen, toward the rich smelling aroma of breakfast. Finn greeted her with a grin, clearly relieved to see his friend awake and finally standing unaided. and held out a plate of steaming hotcakes, Quor'sav-fried steak, and Gartro eggs for her to take. “Morning, peanut, you're just in time.”

Rey groaned gladly at the welcome sight of the food, and hastily seized the dish, plopping herself down at the kitchen island, “Thank you, this looks amazing.”

Raising a dark brow at his friend, Finn laughed, “I think anything would look amazing after days of not eating. I'm still learning but hopefully it's edible.”

Hugging him from behind, Rose protested, “You're being too humble! All you've done is read cook books and test recipes for weeks- your cooking is beyond delicious, who knew we had an all-star chef hiding behind that macho exterior of yours?”

Rey ate her food unromantically, barely making time to breathe between mouthfuls, observing the pair all the while; she'd never really noticed the way they looked at each-other, eyes full of affection, not unlike the way she'd caught Ben looking at her. It clicked. Her friends- her beautiful friends- were in love.

Her heart- the one she'd thought was thoroughly broken- soared for them. However, Rey pondered how in the world she could have missed it; she had always thought Finn and Poe were made to be; the two men had scarcely left each-other's sight. But now, as she recounted the last few months, it seemed like they had grown distant, almost hostile, and Rey couldn't help but feel responsible somehow.

“Rey, you okay?” Finn's question pulled her from her thoughts. He was a picture of concern, her most loyal friend, and Rey was quick to give him a reassuring smile.

“Yes, it was _amazing_ , or at least... the bits I actually chewed were.”

Rose and Finn huffed out a laugh, relieved their friend was finally cracking jokes again. Rounding the table to sit beside Rey, Rose gestured towards herself and Finn and said, “I think I speak for both of us when I say it's good to be together again. We missed you.”

Rey idly fiddled with her fork, twirling it in her fingers, and nodded, “I missed you too.”

The room fell quiet for a moment before Finn pulled something up from underneath the counter, propping it down in-front of her. “So, we had a lot of time to spare on Batuu and we've been making some sense of these.”

Before Rey, dogeared and musty, lay the Jedi texts.

“A lot of it is nonsense, we nearly gave up with them, but,” Finn glanced nervously at Rose, as if to ask permission to continue, and she spared a subtle nod of consent, “they _do_ confirm Ta Dhek's theory, and now that you've told us about your experience, it lines up-”

“But, if you're not feeling up to it, we can talk about this later, Rey.” Rose interjected, her eyes scanning Rey's face to gauge whether they'd breached the topic too soon.

Rey was still eyeing the books before her, delicately reaching out a hand to brush against the boiled leather, “No, tell me more. What did you find?”

Finn set himself down onto the seat opposite her, resting his arms out on the counter, “It confirms, in it's own roundabout way- these ancient texts are tricky- that the World Between Worlds _does_ exist, and there are entry points all across the galaxy. What it doesn't confirm, though, is whether or not you can enter it through a dream-like state, or meditation.”

“Oh,” Rey exhaled, her heart sinking- had she been imagining all of it? Did Ta Dhek's words just bolster a fantasy? _Or a sick nightmare,_ she thought.

“No, Rey, it's okay. Just because it's not stated here doesn't mean what you've been experiencing isn't real. We know the Force works in mysterious ways,” Rose comforted, “Plus! Finn, tell her about the Gods- there's something about them in there, too!”

Finn nodded enthusiastically, swiping at the pages to find their discovery, “Yeah, peanut, they talk about how these guys are bigger than the Force itself. They're able to bend it, and harness it for their own personal gain. Kinda big-headed, if you ask me.” Finn quipped, rolling his eyes, “My theory... My theory is your guy is trapped there.”  
  
“Trapped?” Rose asked, clearly not as clued-in on Finn's speculations as she'd thought, “Oh! Like, uh... Well... I read a lot of fiction,” her cheeks flushed, “but sometimes fiction is laced in reality, right? So, uh, indulge me for a second but there's this story, one my mother used to read to Paige and I. It was beautiful, about a prince and a maiden, who fell in love, but the maiden was bound by death. She had to do it's bidding to keep her mortality. But when she found her prince, she couldn't bear the idea of hurting him so she disobeyed. Death sent her to something called the 'underworld', and when the prince found out he went after her. He found her in an in-between state. Her soul was trapped there, and he had to fish it out, nearly dying there himself.” Rose glanced at Finn and Rey's shared expressions, both unimpressed by story, and she rushed on, “But he doesn't die! He pulls her soul out into the real world... They lived happily ever after!”

Finn blinked slowly at Rose, in half a mind to rebuke her citation of fairytales but stopped himself, “Huh. Actually, that kinda makes sense.”

Rey dubiously raised a brow at him, evidently not sharing his confidence, “It does?”

“Yeah, so, he... uh... Ben is trapped there, right? He has un-finished business, and it seems the Force gods have their own motives- for example, The Son was trying to bargain him with you, Rey. You just need to find a way to... fish him out.”

“I still don't understand,” Rey confessed, “Why would Ben have unfinished business?”

“You, dummy. You're the un-finished business.”

“Oh.” Rey squirmed at the realisation, embarrassed.

“Think about it, you both share something; the Dyad. With him gone, everything is out of balance. The Force is holding him there... and somehow these guys got a hold of him first?”

Rose rested her chin in her palms, brows furrowed, “But... If that's the case, why is he being made to re-live his past experiences? Rey said that she found him acting like he was still Kylo Ren, right?”

Rey nodded, her stomach wrenching at the memory of her Ben, so frightened and disturbed, “Yeah.”

“Maybe he's being punished, Rose,” Finn muttered, “It seems like they want to make him suffer. Showing him Rey- and how he treated her in the beginning... That sounds like torture, to me.”

Rey's eyes stung as a fresh set of tears welled up but held them back the best she could, clenching her fists tightly at her sides, “You said that there were entry points to this place?”

Finn opened one of the more weathered tomes, combing through carefully as to not further damage the pages that were barely holding on to begin with, “Here.”

Laying it flat and toward her, his finger lightly tapped at the esoteric manuscript, “They don't specify where. Only that they open at random, or when a Force user is in a place of significance. I think this is what we're looking for,”

Under Finn's finger was a was faded depiction of a complex diagram, but Rey immediately noticed the small constellations, “These. I've seen these. The Son was using one of these to talk to me, and they were circulating the portals?”

“The loth-wolves?” Rose piped up, glancing over Rey's shoulder in amazement, “You saw a loth-wolf?!”

“I guess? I'd never seen one before.”

“Well, _yeah_ , they've been extinct for eons! That's so _cool!_ ” Rose enthused, but Finn shot her a telling look and she quietened down, “I mean, _terrifying,_ but... cool.”

Rey huffed out a laugh, “Okay, so... Once again the Jedi texts are playing hard-to-get with all the cryptic, vague words.”

She stood to pace the floor, chewing her lower lip as she thought aloud, “I need to find him again. It could be the Gods toying with me, showing me Ben to sway me but...” She heaved a sigh, “It was too real, and his essence _was_ there,” she held a hand to her sternum, “ _is_ here. I doubt that would be easy to replicate.”

Rey spun on her heel to face her friends, freshly determined yet undeniably frightened, “I don't think I can do this alone. That place... it's... all consuming.”

“We don't for a second doubt that, Rey. You were out for days after your experience there,” Finn reassured gently, “We're here, we're not going to leave you to fend for yourself.”

“We just have to find a place of significance, right?” Rose pitched in, her face scrunched in thought.

“But if they take me there again, if I … fall back in...” Rey fretted, wringing her jittering hands, “What if next time, I can't come back?”

Finn stood, throwing his hands out to grip Rey by the shoulders, “Not gonna happen.”

Rey inhaled deeply and shook her head thoughtfully, “Okay.” She peered up at Finn, forcing her face to resemble that of a woman who had some control.

“Chart a course to Takodana.”

✧⋆☆⋆✧

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is such a short chapter! Gotta build up some plot and put our babies on a grand adventure. Hoping I can get chapter 5 edited quicker this week. 
> 
> I absolutely love writing these guy's dialogue, it's honestly a joy to do.
> 
> Also, wow, never thought I'd be writing this whilst in a global pandemic! I hope everyone is safe and doing well. Thank goodness for Ao3 and the plethora of beautifully written fiction, is all I can say. Big love <3


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